"at peace and in place"

Poem
To Think of the Life of a Man - Wendell Berry

In a time that breaks
in cutting pieces all around,
when men, voiceless
against thing-ridden men,
set themselves on fire, it seems
too difficult and rare
to think of the life of a man
grown whole in the world,
at peace and in place.
But having thought of it
I am beyond the time
I might have sold my hands
or sold my voice and mind
to the arguments of power
that go blind against
what they would destroy.

Beverage
Ghia Spritz

Long time readers will know I have always had a soft spot for a novelty zero-proof beverage, but the thing is — these are no longer the novelties they seemed 2017. It feels extremely normal to order one of the little bottled St. Agrestis Phony Negroni or a Fair State Hop Water or what we used to call a mocktail though that moniker seems to be on the way out without a clear replacement.

One of the early vanguard of widely available spirit alternatives was Ghia, and to be honest, I think Ghia outright fails as a aperitif replacement. It just isn't one, despite its claims. It's a ...different thing. And I like it a lot. I like the canned spritzes, but I think the real value is the whole big bottle of the concentrated whatever-Ghia-is. It's so purple. And I have not tried the berry, which is even more purple.

The fun thing with Ghia, in my opinion, is that because it feels so little like an actual spirit, I don't feel obliged to try to make my little Ghia drinks resemble cocktails. I will just mix it with little whatevers in my fridge to create weird little potions. And you know what, it is always at least interesting. I think the danger is in using too much because the taste can be super concentrated. Having one of the little canned spritzes helps to gauge how little you actually need to get the flavor while still keeping the drink feeling effervescent, and the ideas on the Ghia site for use are pretty good. Most of them are irritatingly elaborate for me, a person who will not be making any little special syrups, but I do have a bunch of other things that can contribute to the concept — a big thing of preserved lemons which usually go in this and also everything I cook, weird kombucha flavors, assorted seltzers, other zero-proof novelty beverages, little shrubs and vinegary things — so we find interesting places to go.

Scent
DedCool Red Dakota

Let's talk about another DedCool scent that features a not-always-for-me note. This time: Red Dakota and gardenia. The only other gardenia I've liked on myself is Tocca Florence, which I have had in a rollerball for ages. A decade?

Again, I often fear the white floral. I worry I will smell like a grandma's closet. And not like a grandma now. But Red Dakota is almost all citrus. The website description says zesty, but I think there's a little bit of bitter pith in the citrus that cuts through more than zest. The gardenia is there, hanging around to give things some sweetness. I just want more of it. Yesterday, three different people told me I smelled good, but the scent really just doesn't stick around very long.

Red Dakota is sweet without being overpowering and bright without any sharp edges. It's so close to I want to wear before going fully into my tea and green and salt scents of summer. But there remains something about the DedCool scents that read a little too young for me — just not enough heft. If I were going to buy a full size of any, it would be the Milk or Xtra Milk because they do actually nail the "smell like you but better" thing without the ubiquity of Glossier You, which I do own full-size.

I've written a lot of words about DedCool scents the last two weeks only to offer the verdict that I will not be buying them. But I am glad I bought the samples. Anyway. Moving on.

Now playing via Spotify "daylist"

A little bit of a cheat because this wasn't from this week, but I did listen to it again this week. waterlily by crushed!!!!

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As I mentioned last week, the regular features now include a fragrance and a Spotify daylist. The daylist because I think they're funny. And then just some other things that I am choosing to include with my heart. Currently, also a shopping feature because I am not buying anything but can't resist clicking every shopping link on the Internet. Just a refresher on what I'm doing here at the moment. Everything beyond the poem and beverage are subject to change, and longtime readers know I love your input and opinions.

Other things

The X-Files

I am deep into season 4 of The X-Files, a show I am watching for the first time.

My concern is that every so often we get to an episode (Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man, for one) where my reaction is like yeah, I'm fairly certain this is closer to reality than what is cited on Wikipedia for a related event. I also do listen to an "occult history" podcast called Ghost Stories For The End Of The World, which forms a not-too-narrow Venn diagram with the show. That podcast does not purport to be fiction. Also "Ghost Stories For The End Of The World" would be a great subtitle for The X-Files.

It's not niche to be bought in on extraterrestrial life anymore, and I am definitely from a family that will casually talk about UFOs and ghosts and things of that nature — but there is something particularly delightful about how still-fringey those beliefs are considered by so many on The X-Files.

Despite my own willingness to be all in on things like the Phoenix Lights, I probably would have Scully tendencies if I was encountering all the cases on the show — it's comforting to explain mystery and strange phenomena with science and comprehensible context. I saw this happen just the other week when a friend talked about her now-preschool-age son saying weird stuff that seemed past-life adjacent as a young toddler. So I get the skepticism! And I also get when Scully is then like, actually this is wild and there is no explanation. Human experience contains multitudes. Also, come on, how have Scully and Mulder not figured out it is just always the government? The one they work for?? Guys!!!!

And Jimmy Carter totally did see a UFO.

Desert Oracle Radio

I linked the Phoenix Lights episode above. If you want to listen to a mystical, late-night-AM-radio, American Southwest weekly delight... Desert Oracle Radio. If you like the stuff that The X-Files is about, you probably already listen. But if you just like good storytelling or a gravelly voiced loner talking about his weird adventures in Prague and San Diego and New Orleans, this is also for you.

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Carts online

This week:
Gingham

Okay, it is gingham this week after all.

1. This watercolor, blurred-out gingham-that-isn't-quite-gingham on a sporty swimsuit? Sold. (Not really. I'm still not buying anything, but ykwim.) J.Crew
2. This bag from Phoebe Philo's 2014 Celine collection isn't even available, really. But I love the shape and the indigo-purple tone to the raffia. The RealReal
3. The Baggu summer collection was a big part of the pull toward gingham. The red gingham is now pretty limited in what's available, but it really grabbed me. I love all three of this bag set, and the heart pattern on the black is adorable. Baggu, set of three
4. The Cloud Bag is a favorite possession of mine — I dragged my pinky-beige medium-sized (this same size) one through seven countries in Central Europe last year. This black gingham does not have the little hearts, but it's charming. Baggu Cloud Bag
5. And the green on the nylon shoulder bag! I almost bought this in the red, which is now gone, and I have a little regret. I will end up buying this nylon shoulder bag eventually. If there is still gingham available (or not priced absurdly second-hand), I will buy that. Baggu Mini Nylon Shoulder Bag
6. and 7. Linenfox is what initially sparked the gingham appeal for me. I have bought a few Linenfox items in 2022, and I adore them. Unfortunately, one of them got absolutely gashed by a metal table at my sister's med school graduation dinner, but I live in hope that someone will figure out a wearable repair for me. Anyway, I saw some gingham releases on Instagram in the true dregs of the seasonal depression part of winter and became convinced that gingham linen would cure me. Like, this little set of trousers and a wrap top? A mini trapeze dress? A true tent of a dress? I'd be happy forever. (For 45 minutes after opening the mail.)

Readers may recall last week's commitment to a summer of wearing pink and red. The reality is that my colors every season are almost exclusively black and adjacent neutrals. Yesterday, I walked into my friends' café in a black bodysuit posing as leggings, a sheer black Gap Big Shirt, and a giant black overcoat. One half of this couple commented love that color on you, which was both a genuine compliment and a true own. But I feel in my heart that I can become a person who wears color more often than in my four-ish non-neutral sweaters and some of my warm weather clothes.

I recently expanded into brown, which was a compelling addition to my wardrobe circa Black Friday 2023, for $40 at Madewell and then Outdoor Voices for a similar investment level. I also bought a purple sweater at Madewell on that occasion, which really expanded the palette of my winter wardrobe. The rest is basically black, camel, gray, and cream with one red sweater and one blue sweater.

Today, I am back at my friends' café because I told their seven-year-old, who is also my friend, that I would come again today. And I am wearing all black again, having not thought about it, even a little. If I am going to be honest, the spring look I really want is this Dôen cardigan, styled like it's a little top. It's a good look for a light cardigan in any season and how I am wearing a winter cardigan right now. But certainly that price is prohibitive, and I will not be buying it!

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Thanks for joining me for edition two of the newly-extended newsletter. We'll see what continues to stick over the next weeks, but I promise the beverage and poem will stay, as they have for the last eight years (!!).

Hello to new people. There are so many old editions of this newsletter to click through if you feel like it!