"when you have no stomach for it"

The Poem
The Thing Is - Ellen Bass

to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumples like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.


I thought about making my horoscope from The Cut the poem this week. It is beautiful. (*And pasted below.) But I didn't. It is good advice, though, even if you don't subscribe to any belief in the Zodiac.

The Beverage
Two Glasses of Water

I had a different beverage planned for this week. I had a different everything planned for this week. I was anxious and nervous when I wrote about coffee last Sunday but was convinced it was the kind of anxiety that would end in feeling proud and heartened. I was wrong.

Today is a day for standing at the sink. Drink a glass of water from the tap quickly and refill it before you walk away. Today is a day for putting that second glass of water on your nightstand and reading a book while you drift in and out of sleep. Forget where your phone is for a while.

Drink the second glass of water in sips in between dozing and rereading the same three pages of your book. Then do what you need to. Wash your face, go for a jog (or attempt to do a half marathon if you are me this morning), call someone who is on your mind, get a haircut, rake some leaves, take vitamins. Take care of yourself. Drink even more glasses of water. Read even more poetry. Do what needs to be done. Then get to work.



*Virgo: Keep your eyes open when you’re out in the world this week. There are moments of goodness you’ll want to hold on to — so many warm glances that pass between people, so many sudden words that can surprise even the speaker with their sweetness. There are dogs and there are trees and there are meals shared in a yellow kitchen. Kindness like this won’t save the world, but you deserve it anyway.